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See also Coronation Chicken |
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Here's a collection of stuff on the light-spirited side of things: Queen's Message - from Christmas '04 A ‘Queen’s Message’ from a university in Southern Ontario, Canada - for Christmas, but with perennial and ‘everlasting’ appeal…(!!!)
Mane Man
From www.brianmay.com: Caption: SUNDAY
TIMES Brian Griffin’s 1990 picture of Brian’s head – yes, recognisable without his face. But following Brian's comments, whose penis might that look like? (That’s a rhetorical question…) See: www.brianmay.com/brian/brianssb/brianssbmar05a.html#20 26 Mar 05
Evening Standard: Tim Lott Article (Brian's Soapbox Item from 04 Mar 05) Not much I can say about this except to treat it with the contempt it deserves. Here’s a limerick: There once was a fellow named Lott He really was a bit of a clot ‘All these rock stars’, we’re told ‘They make me feel old’ ‘I wish they’d died in the year Dot’. ‘By dropping with drugs’ he would cus ‘And sex with a groupie – no fuss!’ You know in the Ogre Battle? There was a stampede by cattle? Flattened like the back of a bus! So here’s to you, old Mr Lott No sense you’ve got – not a jot! As Queen fill me with hunger To be thirty years younger Are you funny? No, frankly you’re NOT.
2004 - Me on a forum!
31 Oct – on the Radio Ga Ga Video: John's hairdo places it firmly in its time - if there are two things that sum up the 80s for me, they're 1. Margaret Thatcher - our Prime Minister throughout the decade - and 2. Bad Hair!!!!!! (we have to consider the Band Aid video - but THAT lot had all just got out of bed, I gather). Not
that John's hair is THAT bad - it just looks very 'New Romantic', that's
all. 2
Nov – on Roger being mistaken for a woman in 1970 I've
just read on another thread that it was out on the street that Roger got
mistaken for a woman. Far be it from me to speculate which specific
streets, and which sort of people..... but I've been short-sighted from
the age of seven, and I never remember that we had a problem in
obtaining a decent pair of prescription glasses for me in London in
1970!!!! 19
Nov 'Roger
Quotes' On
the cover of 'Fun In Space': Thanks for the six minutes of preamble, Freddie, but all we REALLY wanted was THIS!!!!!!! ('Taylor made' to send our teenage hormones into orbit...):
My caption suggestion:
Roger: It's so cold here, my glasses have turned blue! (Brian and Roger in Moscow, Feb 04)
My suggestion for a caption for this picture (taken at WWRY Sydney):
Brian:
Let me see, did I ask them to fetch him drums, or drugs???
Virtual Absence - 18 Dec 04 * Here is a link to Roger’s official website. He’s had all those thousands of hits just for suspending himself in cyberspace – this says something for his magnetism, I think. (Have I sent him up enough on this site already? Naah…) It’s a good job that we have the unofficial www.roger-taylor.net – I wonder if he goes there to find out what he’s doing next week? He’s got a lot of fans who’d, I’m sure, like him doing his own thing on the web…To our very own Invisible Man – we’d love to see more of you… Update: 31 Dec 04: On
visiting the Queen fan club the other day, I was interested to hear that
Roger would be unlikely to be on the net at all as he hates it. That’s
quite a change from the great enthusiasm with which he broke a world
record by playing the biggest on-line concert from his ‘Cyberbarn’
in the grounds of his home in September 1998, even if he admitted then
that he didn’t understand websites! In fact, at the time, he was very
up-beat about the potential of the internet, saying’ it will be
pervasive, play a large part in our lives’ and that it ‘abolishes
distance’. I wish I knew what he intended to do, if anything, with the
site that’s waiting there. Maybe he just doesn’t know. Hold on,
never mind… Roger, Brian’s Internet Room is bigger than yours. I think there should be hell to pay… Are you a Roger fan? Click on the Comments Box below to make a comment about the issue of his official website: Comment (0)
Addendum: Seven Year Itch? I’m just trying to get a mental grasp on the internet and what it means…. Roger Taylor, 1998 No I don’t have newspapers. You are reading somebody else’s opinion after the fact. Why read papers, when you have TV, radio…even the horrible Internet (laughs). Roger Taylor, 2005 *This website now appears to be down.
Paul:
I'm telling you, Roger, that Alison's on your case! Get your website
sorted quick! Pic: queenpluspaulrodgers.com
Flippin’ HELL!!! This “Most Famous
Rockstar Without his own Website” Award is even tackier than the Top
Gear trophy!!! July 06 - Jen's scan of this article from the time of the Cyberbarn says it all: http://www.roger-taylor.net/Scans/rogerinter1.jpg *Since then it's changed hands again within the US - although it's becoming harder to find information! No chance of getting anything about Roger at that URL now, though!
So you feel like you ain't nobody
Brian May, 'The Hero' Since Brian got his CBE, I've been
trying to find out if I'd be entitled to anything special for having my
translations on his site. It seems not, with the result that I've
recently acquired only the self-awarded title of 'Translator of Teutonic
Texts by appointment to Commander Bri'. Along wyth thee many friendes whych he claimeth he knoweth not he hath* I woulde, of course, like to extend my congratulations to thee Commander likewise. W yth verrye well-meant wyshes Alison (By appointment to thee Commander, Translator of Teutonic textes and avide slammer of the Grate British Presse).
27 Jun 05
*This refers to a deleted item from the soapbox where Brian said that he did not know he had so many friends after many people wished him well over the honour.
Roger Glossary
After joining the forum of www.roger-taylor.net, I would especially like to thank ‘cooper’ for her inspiration in using the first word to appear here, I have thought of the subsequent entries and definitions:rogered – besotted/enraptured by Roger Taylor, the state of being a ‘Roger-ette’ or ‘Taylorette’. rogeresque – in the style of Roger, eg some lyrics may be considered ‘rogeresque’. rogerism – any turn of phrase or point of view expressed by Roger which may be considered to be typical of him. to rogerise, or rogerify – to fashion any creation or performance in a way that deliberately seeks to emulate Roger or as a tribute to him. rogery – imbued with Roger, eg ‘Happy Rogery New Year’! to rogerate – to be physically or virtually mobile in the interests of feeding an obsession with Roger. to cyberbarn – to enter the record books by performing the biggest online concert and subsequently doing sweet FA on the Internet thereafter. Here are a couple of acronyms from the board concerning Roger-lovers who also have a thing about Brian: MID = Mayniac in Disguise DMTs – Declared Mayniacal Tendencies pictures: http://ringmanq.tripod.com
paulrodgers.com
Paul: Now I told you about the executive decision to change our name to the 'Black and White Minstrels'. So own up, who forgot to tell Brian? Danny: Hey sorry, Paul, that was me!
In Spring 2006, 'MOOORCURY' - picture below - was entered in the Lisbon 'cow parade' on the internet. I visited the site and there were myriad cows with various designs. People could vote for their favourite but I don't know how this one did!
Futurama, Vol 1 No 20:
With thanks to the Aussie Queens Fan Forum
Queen Pizza Recipe from 'Rock 'n Roll Recipes' by Chef Rex Havick:
'ROGER FOR PRIME MINISTER' CAMPAIGN!
APRIL
2008: THE LATEST MANIFESTO MESSAGE APPEARS ON THE AL MURRAY SHOW:
WITH
HIS CAMPAIGN SIDEKICKS, OUR FUTURE PM PROVES THAT THE BEST WAY OF
COMBATING THE NATIONAL GRAFFITI PROBLEM IS TO SHOW THAT HE CAN DO IT
TOO! WHO NEEDS JUVENILE DELINQUENTS WHEN YOU'VE GOT SENILE ONES?
'I don't
pretend to understand the workings of the journalistic mind'. At the very beginning of 2005, 'somedayoneday' wrote irate letters to two different newspapers which had both published articles casting doubt over the forthcoming Queen tour. Accusing Independent journalist Andy Gill of a ‘nausea-inducing arrogance’ and Siobhan Synnot of The Scotsman on Sunday of writing ‘excrement’, she received unexpected attention from Queen guitarist Brian May, to whom she had copied the letters. Delighted, but at the same time seriously worried that this positive appearance on Brian’s soapbox would make her persona non grata with the other remaining member of the band, her big hero and drummer Roger Taylor, she withdrew to write her opinions on a couple of fan forums prior to including the items on this site. In fact, the two letters may be considered as being an undeveloped form of the genre of turning the task of telling journalists to **** off into an art form, perfected by Roger himself. It is noticeable, however, that he is the only member of Queen who is not named in either letter. ‘I wanted to leave him out of it’, she explained, ‘but the inspiration for the letters came from him. I like to think that he’s running right the way through them, but I can’t write the same way as him, that’s all’. Indeed, it is clear that, when juxtaposing the two letters with Roger’s own to ‘Rolling Stone’, ‘somedayoneday’ has to go some way to reaching his level of sarcasm and directness, which she can only describe as ‘wonderful’. ‘I’ve fallen in love with him all over again’ she says. ‘I’m lucky that my teen hero is still around - I was clearly a perceptive teenager to pick someone with such staying power. I’ve been wondering if there’s a precedent for this – going crazy about someone all over again in middle age – but it’s been a lot of fun, and I guess I’m partly compensating for the curtailment of it all at that earlier time’.
Sent to The Scotsman on Sunday on 3 January 2005: Please thank Ms
Synnot for the enlightening information that some of the best-loved
songs of the end of the twentieth century and beyond were written by
‘plumbers’. I’ll have to arrange to have one sent round to fix her
waste disposal system which appears to be spewing misdirected sewage
into the columns of your newspaper. I don’t recall ever seeing so much
excrement on the subject of Queen in one article. The name ‘Queen’ (which will be used exclusively of that of Paul Rodgers in the forthcoming tour) has been used since the passing of Freddie Mercury, and since the more recent retirement of John Deacon, in concerts such as the Party at the Palace and the 46664 concert so to object to its use now appears to me to be gratuitous. Finally, how do you honour a dead person? By burying their work along with them? I don’t think so! 1 Jan, sent to the Independent: Dear Mr Gill Re: Your comments about the forthcoming Queen tour in ‘Next Year’s Ones To Watch’ (31 Dec). I suffer from ‘sneer fatigue’ when I read people like you and frankly you shouldn’t be given the time of day. It’s just that your insulting presumption amazes and intrigues me. What makes you think that anyone would ever be considered as standing in the place of Freddie Mercury? Of course, it will be different – but here we have in Paul Rodgers a well-established and brilliantly talented singer who will help to move the remarkable Queen story on to a new place. You’ve obviously no idea of the size and extent of the Queen fan base worldwide, and so many YOUNG fans – try and tell THEM that Queen shouldn’t bother! As for it being a ‘generous gift’ - yes, I humbly admit I’ll be a grateful fan if I can get hold of a ticket. As Brian May so skilfully observes, are you grudgingly admitting that ‘We Will Rock You’ has been a phenomenal success? It’s interesting to see you tie yourself in gargantuan knots of contradiction over the fact that the musical has generated so much interest in Queen but for some obscure reason you suggest the demand should remain unfulfilled. This is clearly an indication of a nausea-inducing arrogance, and of the appallingly negative unreality in which you and other members of your profession typically reside. Best regards (See the original articles below).
Her latest campaign however, now in its early stages, involves gathering other fans of Roger’s to comment on his lack of web presence. ‘I wish we could have something’ she remarks. ‘I know it would be very different from Brian’s, which I read regularly, but can’t help wishing he weren’t the only voice. I’d just like to hear more from Roger, even if were only a little more. I want to use this site as a forum for his other fans in this case and see what sort of response I get’.* Good luck, ‘somedayoneday’! (That was me, writing about me – Alison, 15.Jan 05). ( Please note that there may be a distinct possibility that I have been ruthlessly paraphrased or even misquoted by myself...). *See 'Virtual Absence' above. Extract from ‘Next Year’s Ones To Watch’ , Andy Gill, The Independent (31 Dec) And as for the mooted return of Queen, with Bad Company's Paul Rodgers squeezing into Freddie's drainpipe denims, well, guys, I'm sure it's intended as a generous gift to the fans - and only coincidentally a means of capitalising on the brand's rising stock engendered by We Will Rock You - but you really shouldn't have bothered. No, really. Extract from 'Stardust memories pall without king of camp'SIOBHAN SYNNOT, The Scotsman On Sunday, 2 Jan 2005:
It always seemed to me that Queen dealt with the
schizophrenic business of the ordinary and extraordinary worlds rather
well by hiving off the laddish stuff to Roger Taylor, John Deacon and
Brian May whilst Freddie Mercury performed all the rococo duties. An
interview with the much-missed spangly Freddie was unlikely to be
interrupted by an enquiry about the latest football scores or the
offer of a swift half down the Fisherman’s Tavern. Mercury was all
Napoleonic costumes, operatic gestures and gaudy, soaring rock and
roll anthems with a delivery of sheer heart attack. Together, the
blend of one Valentino in spandex plus three plumbers in clogs grabbed
the public imagination like a rottweiler and his postman, until
Mercury’s death in 1991.
However, 2005 begins with the grim prospect of a Queen resurrected. At first, Brian May’s decision to reform the group with vocals provided by Paul Rodgers, one-time singer with both Free and Bad Company, looked like a one-off act of charity. Indeed, if May had decided to put together the group simply to perform at the second Mandela Aids benefit, it would have been one of those performances that Freddie might have wanted, at the behest of South Africa’s charismatic former premier. But it turns out that this is merely the first gig on a full tour of ‘Queen’, and the first sign that blokey Brian has lost his grip. "Suddenly the Queen phoenix is rising again from the ashes," May said. Well, no, not the Queen as everyone else knew it, Brian. To everyone else Queen was a platform for Mercury’s idiosyncratic pyrotechnics backed by three blokes with poodle cuts. Now it emerges that, to Brian’s mind, the highlight of ‘Bohemian Rhapsody’ was not Mercury’s reinvention of La Boheme as a lisping Persian. No, it was Bri’s endless, endless guitar licks. This is the only possible explanation for why Brian thinks that he, Roger Taylor and some middle-aged bloke singing could be considered ‘Queen’. The rest of us know that if you pay to see the 1812 Overture and only the chaps with the triangles turn up then, no matter how heartfelt the percussion, it’s never going to be the 1812 Overture, is it?
To see Brian's responses to me:
Inspired by my daughter’s great love of Hip Hop: Journalists 2005 (They’re saying that it shouldn’t happen) This
is a rap about the story of the journalists and the letters, based
around Roger Taylor’s solo song ‘Nazis 1994’ from the album
‘Happiness?’
They’re
saying that it shouldn’t happen That
Queen go on tour We
gotta stop these stinking journalists Now
I see we got sneer fatigue It’s
getting a lot harder to breathe I
understand why ‘cos your name is Gill Like
a fish outa water on the window sill What
you’re saying’s so run of the mill Get
out of my hair before you make me ill Why
am I givin’ you the time of day When
you should be out of my way There’s
loads of us don’t care what you say So
you can go sell your rag on e-bay I
should really take a pause hee-aa But
your arrogance induces naus-ee-a You
make an insulting presumption You
think you’re so full of gumption They’re
saying that we shouldn’t have bothered That
Queen go on tour We
gotta stop these stinking journalists Then
from the Scotsman on Sunday We
got this other jibe comin’ our way It’s
somehow not steady To
be Queen without Freddie But
it’s so freaky When
they don’t mention Deaky You
think you know what most people drink How
most people tick, and what most people think Like
‘Queen’s not Queen when it’s not four’ Let
me tell you you’re such a bore Who
says four can’t be divided by two Who
are most people? And
who the hell are you? They’re
saying that we’ve lost it altogether That
Queen go on tour We
gotta stop these stinking journalists So
we got two plumbers so here’s my proposal We
send one round to fix your waste disposal ‘Cos
copious amounts of sewage it’s spewin’ If
infection I pick up from it I’ll be suin’ Yes,
we’re coming round with our triangles and clogs And
we’ll make damn sure that we fix your bogs They’re
saying that it shouldn’t happen That
Queen go on tour What
the world needs is more journalists like these Like
it needs a hole in the head. We
gotta stop these stinking journalists! I’ll
face it with a grin, I’m never giving in On
with the show! Yeah!
Lyrics in this colour from 'The Show Must Go On' - Queen
The
latest addition to the story: It
must be love – up at one o’clock in the morning writing this… no
sign that the Guardian will publish it.
Dear Ms Sullivan QUEEN WILL NEVER BE CHAMPIONS WITHOUT FREDDIE The Guardian, Wednesday January 26, 2005 As the ageing rockers return to the stage, Caroline Sullivan questions the band's motives. Long live Queen ... but not without frontman Freddie Mercury. For many of us Queen may have ceased to exist when Freddie Mercury died in 1991, but that hasn't stopped the remaining three members from enjoying consistent hit singles and albums (mainly re-releases and compilations) under the Queen name for the last 13 years. They have, however, stopped short of appearing on stage, perhaps out of respect for Mercury. Until now that is, when it seems they have overcome their qualms. Last week all UK tickets sold out (some within hours) for what guitarist Brian May claims will be one final tour, starting on March 28 at London's Brixton Academy and ending, 24 dates later, at Wembley Arena Pavilion. But what will customers get for their money? Well, in place of Mercury, they've lined up former Free and Bad Company member Paul Rodgers (he of "enduring radio classics" such as Rock 'n' Roll Fantasy and Run With The Pack). His stubbly, blues-belting machismo makes him the very last person (bar the flat-capped guy in AC/DC) one might expect to fill in for Freddie, much as it was for Terence Trent D'Arby to play with INXS in Michael Hutchence's place and Ian Astbury to stand in for Jim Morrison (in your dreams, Astbury). Anticipating that this weird collision of aesthetics would rouse protests that "this ain't Queen", they've taken the precaution of billing themselves as Queen plus Paul Rodgers. Frankly, it shames the lot of them, believing they can slip in a substitute for the deceased frontmen who were the very essence of their groups. NB Caroline Sullivan subsequently wrote a positive review of the opening concert of the Queen plus Paul Rodgers tour at Brixton - see below: ©2005 Now-Im-Here.Com QUEEN AND PAUL RODGERS Brixton
Academy, London Debate is still rumbling about a reunited Queen filling the Mercury role with former Bad Company rasper Paul Rodgers, but this "intimate" kick-off of a sold out tour established that a large part of pomp-rock is forever theirs. Darkness, schmarkness - you don't know what camp'n'roll is all about till you've seen the Brian May guitar solo, which culminates, 15 ludicrous minutes later, in him standing in triumphant silhouette against footage of the Milky Way. Now that's what I call £55 worth of entertainment (and a May plectrum was available for a fiver for those moved to try it at home). Thirteen years after their last live performance at a Mercury tribute show, Queen are reaping the rewards of having always gone that extra mile in the name of absurdity. The fan-army that queued around the block overlooked the fact that the group charging a queen's ransom wasn't actually Queen, but just May and drummer Roger Taylor, with the empty chairs occupied by Rodgers and a bloke from 1970s rockers Blue Oyster Cult. What mattered was that Taylor and May were the real deal - the engine of the band and as well-versed as Mercury in the art of grandiosity. There was Taylor, summoned up front to lead the majestic Days of Our Lives in front of a video of Mercury, and making an arms akimbo spectacle of it. There was May falteringly singing the demanding acoustic number Love of My Life as the roaring audience helped with the choruses. There again was May - tiny, pale face poking through a tower of curls - exclaiming: "The spirit is alive!" Fab. Rodgers, though... A classic belter who was undoubtedly born unshaven, he made a kind of sense as a gravelly conduit for the massive arena numbers. Fat-Bottomed Girls, yes; We Will Rock You, certainly - he was made for songs that require stamina and capacious lungs. Let loose on some Bad Company numbers, he excelled. But he was simply the wrong person for the ones where a nod and a wink were paramount. In his paws, Mercury's regretful "life still goes on" from I Want to Break Free, sounded like so much saloon-bar philosophy. At least he didn't have to negotiate the intricacies of Bohemian Rhapsody. That was left to a video montage of numerous Mercurys. As a one-off, though, a marvellous night that ranks as one of the gigs of the year.
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