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Queen Win UK Hall of Fame Award - November 2004
Queen
win UK Hall of Fame Award for best Seventies Group. (Yes, I did
vote for them, of course!!!) Roger commented on the stiff
competition – Led Zeppelin, for example – and yes, Roger, where the
**** were The Who?? (I
want to know, too!!!) 'I really wanna know....'*
*The Who (Who Are You?)
Pictures: Roger and Brian receive the award from Justin and Dan of THE DARKNESS, Roger speaking, then Queen playing 'We Will Rock You' and 'We Are the Champions', sung by Paul Rodgers.
Picture Source: www.roger-taylor.net. Press picture from www.brianmay.com
Your
mother's eyes from
your eyes cry
to me Brian May (’39 - A Night At the Opera)
(The
following relates to my personal story - scroll
down to 'Killer Queen') Music is a very evocative thing. It
often brings back the memories of the time we first heard a particular
song – or of a significant moment in our lives when a song was being
played. In reality, Queen’s early songs still remain a part of my
teens – nothing changes something so deeply rooted – but the
difference now is that I have come to terms with the events of those
months prior to, and since, 1977 in a way which I had clearly never done
before. Up to recently, I had never really examined that time – there
was a practical need to get on with life – I was young, and I wanted
to enjoy myself – and felt at the time that the way I should do that
was to put it all behind me as much as I could. In a way, I was right to
do this – but a deep sadness remained within me and the group whose
music had been so much a part of me, allowing me carefree interludes
from mum’s illness, was
caught up in it. I was, over the years, aware that there was something
I should address, but didn’t have the capability to do it somehow.
When I finally did so, 25+ years after the events themselves, it was all
still very painful, but I’ve made that journey – it was a journey I
needed to make – and I now view things positively. In saying that, I
wish to emphasise that I never viewed Queen’s music in a negative
light, because the quality of it spoke for itself, but I’m aware that
my reactions to it weren’t what you’d call ‘normal’. In many ways, these reactions remain
intensely personal, and I know I’m not alone in that. But the fact
that this all happened in my teens explains a great deal - people may
have a difficult adolescence for various reasons – but I look back on
the fact that mine was, in a way, cut
short – or had to finish abruptly. I remember the time I was put on
valium in the later part of 1977 through to 1978 as a real low point.
Being on valium at 15 was hitting rock bottom as far as I am concerned
– mental lip synch. However, I now look back on the time when I was a fan of Queen in their early days with the confidence that they were ‘with me’ at the time when mum’s failing health meant that I had to cope with a lot more than my peers had to cope with. Furthermore, I recently read that the group would have gone under if ‘A Night At The Opera’, their fourth album, had not been successful. So I see now that I did my small bit by contributing to the success of that album at the time, and in that way ensured that we are still enjoying the array of songs they produced then, before and since, and that people are still writing and talking about Queen today. In truth, I’ve always been a Queen fan. 'After three albums, people thought we were driving around in Rolls-Royces already'. Brian May It has also only been recently that
I have started to draw a parallel between my mother’s passing and
Freddie’s. The reasons for doing so seem to grow in my consciousness
all the time – so I feel I’m right in doing so. First and foremost,
they are two people who’ve both been very influential in my life. They
both died young from an insidious and weakening illness. Personality?
One overwhelming similarity was their shared ability to connect with
others – I remember a schoolfriend remarking ‘Your mum knows
everyone around here!!!’ (excursions to the shops or lessons were
sometimes delayed by very lengthy chinwags with someone we bumped
into!!!). The fact that I’ve only just
managed to work all this out and tie it all together is partly because I
needed the maturity to do so, and partly because the deaths themselves
happened at times immediately preceding very significant events which
required my focus on other things – after my mother’s passing, it
was my first public exams and the start of an academic life which only
finished seven years afterwards. With Freddie’s, it was the birth of
my daughter - only a month after the Tribute Concert – and the start
of caring and taking responsibility for this precious young life during
those early years. Finally, there is the parallel of my
feelings about my mother and those of the other three members of the
group over Freddie. They likened his parting at the time to losing a
member – in fact the ‘greatest and most beloved’ one - of their
family. Roger Daltrey also mentions this analogy in the Tribute Concert
documentary. He talks of the spirituality of being in a group making
music together, and of the death of his fellow band member, The Who
drummer Keith Moon, (an event which I remember well from my schooldays).
In the case of Queen, they had been together for so long – Roger
Taylor talks in the Tribute Documentary of the fact that they could even
anticipate what another person in the group would be thinking, and this
isn’t surprising to me at all. In fact, when I was writing the
‘Innuendo’ page, the thought occurred to me that, by this time, it
was no longer a question of living in each other’s pockets – they
must have been living in each other’s souls. Conversely, when Queen were so much
a part of my life in the seventies, the length of time we’re talking
about is short. However, it was long in influence due to my age and
circumstances. This is borne out by the long time it has taken for me to
overcome the effects of those tragic events. I couldn't have done it
without the music and I couldn't have come back to the music without
making the journey back - that's how intertwined the two things were,
even after all those years. So, now, every tribute to Freddie
has become, for me, a tribute to my mother, and vice versa. Even in the
shot of him bowing out of the last video, ‘These Are The Days of Our
Lives’ saying “I still love you”, I hear my mother talking as well
as him. God bless both of them for what they did, and are still doing. You don’t realise how much you come to rely on someone until they’re not there…so you have to re-adjust and it takes quite a while… Brian May (Tribute
Documentary Interview)
Ga Ga on Radio On 2 December 2004 between 7 and 9 pm, BBC Radio Kent broadcast the ‘Evening Show South’ doing a Queen ‘special’. This included interviews with Carl Johnston, producer and director of the Bohemian Rhapsody documentary, Jacky Smith, who runs the UK-based fan club, and Dan Carter, from Kent, who performs in the musical.I e-mailed the show, and as a result, the site Now-im-here.com was mentioned in a very positive way (although the URL wasn’t given) by Sue Dougan. Her co-presenter, Steve McCormick recorded me singing a line of Bohemian Rhapsody down the 'phone as part of the show’s 'version' of it. Please see below for transcripts of two of the interviews. The following is the transcript of my few seconds of fame: Sue Dougan: 'We’ve got Alison from Medway tonight who’s sent us an e-mail and she’s actually charted her own personal memoirs about Queen on her own website which we’re going to take a look at in a minute, Alison.. which looks actually pretty good, by the way!!! She says 'I’ve put together all my thoughts about Queen based on this website which I’ve loosely named after the 1974 song ‘Now I’m Here’ which was a great favourite of mine as a teenager’'. Well, some of this is paraphrased but it’s more or less what I wrote and in any case an accurate picture of the facts – except I wouldn’t LOOSELY name anything after anything – either it’s named after something or it’s not!!! I
sang ‘Anywhere the Wind blows, doesn’t really matter to me, to
me…’ for the show's 'own version' of Bo Rhap.‘With apologies to
Queen fans everywhere’ said Sue Dougan, when introducing it…(excuse
me I AM one!!!) and suggested that none of us should give up our day
jobs!!!
Back
in the summer when I decided to set up this site, the main purpose was
to tell my personal story about the meaning of Queen’s music to me. It
would be quite different from most other stories, and I felt driven to
do it, even though it meant publicising a lot of things I was once
reluctant even to talk about. Once
I’d got my story down, I felt emotionally drained, like an empty
vessel waiting to be filled up. Other
things have been written about on this site around that story; they are
still relevant. Among them, the cancellation of the 46664 gig in
Benidorm in the summer was a huge disappointment but I couldn’t dwell
on it. I’d imagined that if I ever got to experience a live concert
concerning the remaining members of the group, the first time I made it,
it would be Queen - the two of them. Things didn’t work out that way
and, on December 6 – (or 7, as it was by the time he came on stage) it
was Roger alone that I got to see. I’m so grateful for that, and, as
the venue was small, and I could get quite close to the action. It
turned out to be a logical scenario. Once I’d said in my original
story that he was my favourite, I felt I couldn’t leave it at that and
I should write about the teenage ‘crush’ as well. Then, in turn, I
started to re-examine what I’d latched on to about him back then in
terms of his personality. I came to see that it must all have had a
great impact on me at that formative and difficult stage in my life –
I’d never given the matter much thought at all before. I guess I saw
in him something of a reflection of myself and the way I’d like to be.
At the same time, there are areas where my opinions differ from
Roger’s. I think diversity is a much-needed breath of fresh air
because it can pool together the best in different people. This is shown
in the grouping of Queen themselves, whose chemistry was vital over and
above strong individual differences. Now
it’s time to look forward to the New Year and the next stage of this
story, which is a journey without end. I’ve recently become aware that
I’d never been able to see a way of changing things – I’d even
thought subconsciously that I could never be involved in Queen’s music
again in the way I would have hoped. It’s difficult to describe how
that came to be and how it lasted so long. Some things just get
suppressed to an extent that it’s not possible to appreciate that
there can be a way out – which brings me to the story of the musical,
I guess. What the musical did was present the great array of songs to me
on a ‘platter’ -
Queen’s music, my great love, I’d taken with me to another place,
but not beyond reach – and that’s what makes it so special. 31 Dec 2004
Long
Away The
Promise: You
are mine – I possess you. I belong to you forever…. I never went back before I was just moving on Never looked at the track before That I had been on - The
Tragedy: There’s
no living in my life anymore The
seas have gone dry and the rain stopped falling Please
don't you cry anymore On a shelf I placed what I’d left behind Bits of a jigsaw in each song More arrived on that shelf in my mind As the years brought new ones along The Wilderness: Living
with painful memories
Now – it’s true - I’m back to stay Not lost forever but retrieved I move on again now I’ve grieved The
Homecoming: Made
in heaven, I
know that it's true Wait
and see, it was really meant to be yes
it was meant to be. 31 Dec 04
Quotes are from the following Freddie Mercury lyrics:
Seven Seas of Rhye Nevermore Made in Heaven Made In Heaven
©2004 Now-Im-Here.com
05 Feb 05: Brixton Lottery: I’m A Winner! It’s taken a while for the significance of this to sink in. In 1977, as a member of the fan club, I might have been among the audience who enjoyed the concert at the time of the making of the ‘We Are The Champions’ video, but circumstances would never have allowed it. This song is particularly worth mentioning here, because of Freddie's words: ‘I’ve paid my dues time after time I’ve done my sentence but committed no crime’. I’m sure that I considered seeing Queen in when they did the Magic Tour – as it turned out their final as a group of four – in 1986. Still, nine years is not long when such a loss happened while you were still growing up. Queen were in a personal place inside, locked in that immaturity – a dormant part of me that couldn’t be awakened, and not to be shared with so many people in a packed stadium. I had already bought a ticket for Wembley in May. But by winning a ticket for the March concert in Brixton, I feel a wrong has been put right. It’s an exclusive concert, like that one in 1977, and I’ll be there where I should be – with other Queen fans. (I’ve been, and still am, a fan of other groups but I’ve never been the member of any other fan club – Queen were and are my only real no. 1s). So there’s the justice that I can reclaim this thing that should have been mine once and that I belong again – I’m not on the periphery any more. So Brixton will be for mum, and Wembley for Freddie. Both concerts will be for me, and for Queen, and for Vicki Moore, who in Heaven knows what an inspiration she was to me. 1977 – Mum’s passing then fourteen years to 1991 – Freddie’s passing. Another fourteen years to now, 2005, and God willing, a balance is restored.
Time is but a paper moon… Brian May, Teo Torriatte
So dear friends your love is gone
Brian May, Dear Friends (Sheer Heart Attack)
18 Feb 05: I've been on something of a 'roll' since last summer: Since I started this site, seen Roger sing and play live, joined the fan club, had two letters appear on Brian’s site and booked the fan club convention and a ticket for Wembley, as well as winning in the Brixton lottery! Wow!
25 Feb 05: I’m not a melancholy person, and I don’t live in the past. We should focus on what’simportant. But it's great to have been watching the ‘Magic Years’ videos recently - I
think if I’d got to see Queen live in the early days, it would have been fantastic. The live sound on some of those ‘Sheer Heart Attack’ tracks was surely amazing. It was Freddie who instilled in us the belief that we had to make people gasp every time. Roger Taylor
I heard Brian on ‘Rock Radio’ over the weekend talking about the creation of ‘We Will Rock You’ and ‘We Are The Champions’, and how they were designed as songs for audience participation at concerts. Of course, by this time I felt I was not in a position to participate any more.
That’s not to say that if, later on in the eighties, someone had bought me a Queen album I wouldn’t have listened to it or suggested I go to a Queen concert with them I wouldn’t have gone. I might very well have done, with someone with me – it’s hard to say. Queen had come to symbolise something - something that had become the symptom of my true and deepest held feelings. healed now – Brixton will be so great, and I’m really looking forward to it!
They were amazing live. They could really play and they were dynamic and they had fabulous energy on stage… Bob Harris, Bohemian Rhapsody Documentary
05 Mar 05 : The Ticket In My Hand Not long now I’ll have The ticket in my hand. What will that feel like? A ticket to a concert But not just any concert Not just any ticket – A ticket back to by past A ticket on to my future Taking it I’ll then believe The ticket’s in my hand.
26 Mar 05:
With Thanks to Mum and Queen, especially Roger!
It’s true that mum was the main spur when it came to my education – she was so keen for it. But I know I also have Queen – and especially Roger - to thank. The fact that the group all had degrees was something to aspire to. Brian struck me as very studious back then – he and John both belonged to this unfathomable breed called scientists. Freddie was an eccentric, flighty artist, but very much a perfectionist. I was too preoccupied with Roger’s chest to consider much else with regard to his academic prowess - I just remember an interview he gave when he said he got through his degree by taking glucose tablets. This instilled in me the idea that education mattered and you should stick to it, and I stayed with that belief for many years afterwards.
The dream of the child is the hope of the man… Queen, A Winter’s Tale I returned to the Innuendo page the other day – it would have been so hard to believe it when I wrote those words that the tour could have happened! It’s mind-blowing to think that this thing went so right! There really isn’t much more to say now. I watched a programme the other day about the history of Queen and their contribution to British pop music. People have asked me what’s so special about Queen and I find it hard to answer. Certainly I’d be wondering all my life what it was that went so deep within me as a teenager that it was too painful to hold on too when tragedy struck. The music should have been a source of joy, really, something to remember those precious last months of mum’s life, and now, finally, it is – especially as far as those first four albums are concerned. When it comes to concerts, I know that Queen always had this extraordinary ability to entertain – their performance at Live Aid has recently been featured in a TV programme about the Greatest Gigs of All Time. I saw their performance on TV that day – I was unaware then that 20 years on people will still be talking about it. This was probably because I wasn’t surprised at their achievement in stealing the show, although I suspect that I was awe-struck about the fact that they were still together. The most important factor in their performance was surely that the audience was not composed of Queen fans but nevertheless they had won them over completely in the short time available. Their brief was to come on for a few minutes and play their best-known hits and that’s exactly what they did. It must surely be the performance that established them in the popular psyche more than any other, and was the catalyst for the stadium tour the following year. One other fact is not in doubt: the day belonged to Freddie. The following audio link about the Live Aid gig starts with a reference to Jimi Hendrix and a comment by Brian about him: http://www.brianmay.com/downloads/greatestgigsch4_091105.mp3The spontaneous way in which the tour came about arose from a gut feeling – the nature of it has been the renaissance of the group and their music after Freddie. Roger has expressed his surprise at the reception they’ve received and Brian says that he’s pinching himself every morning. My involvement in it also came about spontaneously and nobody can say that, when I saw the chances that came my way, I didn’t seize them with both hands! Since getting hold of the DVD, I’ve recognised some members of the crowd – members of the ‘John Deacon Freundeskreis’ in their yellow T-shirts, Sarah, Jamie, and…Michelle, with elation etched all over her face. It’s clearly not just the Queen songs that we can love now – but the Free/Bad Company songs – and I unapologetically single out ‘All Right Now’ When I was a teenager, this was a song that everyone knew. But now it sounds greater than ever to me! ‘Feel Like Makin’ Love’ was also a song I knew very well from that time, too! I read that Roger sang ‘I Was Born to Love You’ at one of the Japanese concerts. I think that the following lines from it fit particularly well to my feelings about the tour: ‘I’m caught in a dream And my dream’s come true’ 27 Nov 05
'....An amazing feeling
I originally wrote quite a lot for this section – for example, concerning my feelings about my reactions to an event that occurred so long ago – I suppose part of me was still trapped. It came as a surprise. But I’m at the end of a journey now that began three Christmases ago and has been most amazing in this last year because of the tour. Who’d have thought that we could have this again? But then I was like the young fans – I hadn’t had it at all. So I suppose that those ‘conversations’ that I would have had as a member of the audience at concerts in the early days have now come to appear as lyrical poetry on various pages on this site. Okay, I think I'll save the rest for now. In the meantime, here's to 2005!:
"It's so good to
know there's still a little magic in the air
Hyde Park crowd: paulrodgers.com "O lady moon, shine down a
little people magic if you will..." Brian May, 'Brighton Rock Addendum When Jeff Scott Soto stormed on to the stage at the Clapham Grand on December 6 2004 to sing ‘Tie Your Mother Down’, he could not have chosen a better song. This was the first time I had heard a Queen song played live outside of the musical ‘We Will Rock You’, but, back in early 1977 when it was released, the lyrics weren’t at all helpful to the sensitivities of a teenager whose mother was dying of cancer. All the happier I was though when it became the Queen song chosen to open each concert on the recent tour. The fact that Queen’s music became so tied up with those few months is something that I now see as such a positive thing – I didn’t find it in me to see it like that before, though. But now my own daughter’s a teenager and I see how she’s grown up, I feel it’s a reflection of the motherhood mum showed me in those last few months – as if by osmosis, I absorbed from her what I needed for the future that wasn’t to be ours. ‘Her ways are always with me I wander all the while But please you must forgive me I’m old but still a child…’ Brian May, ‘All Dead, All Dead’ It is, looking back, a huge irony that the same band that I took into my trauma was later to lose its own lead singer, who was at its heart, under similar circumstances but at the time of Freddie’s passing, I remember giving only a fleeting thought to the idea of the group now sharing the agony I’d experienced – in this, though, I was failing to take account of the fact that John Deacon lost his own father when he was only eleven. In the weeks leading up to Brixton, it was ‘The Millionaire Waltz’ that I was listening to, with its message of ‘spring in the air’. There was already a live concert inside me somewhere, waiting to get out! Although ‘A Day at the Races’ had been released at the time of mum’s passing, I didn’t have it at home. So the last track of the last of the four albums I had – ‘God Save the Queen’ – is where it all ended back then. A quarter of a century later, with the same guitar playing the same piece of music, it was to begin again.
Every time I have written something for the site,
it's been a case of 'carpe diem', because I've had different feelings as
time has gone on. When you write something down, it's out, and, to a
certain extent, lost to you. With regard to the tour, it has been like a
new beginning - a new animal, but as Roger said, with a lot of the old
animal there too! Just as it was in the seventies, I was there at the
start!
©2005 Now-Im-Here.com ©2006 Now-Im-Here.com
11 Jun 06
The
machine of a dream, such a clean machine Roger Taylor 'I'm In Love With My Car'
For a short time in my teens, we had a car which mum drove. It was a blue Vauxhall Viva like this one:
She passed her test fourth time - I think that was in 1975 - but we only had use of it for a few months.
23 Sep 06 Life's full of ironies. On the train on the way to the Fan Club's Freddie Birthday Party earlier this month, a few of my friends got to speak with a lady who said she'd been a fan of Smile, knowing Roger at that time. Since then, however, she had not cared about the later development of Queen and took no interest in it. So that episode became just a part of her life, quite a long time ago, but something that she can tell people about now and then. Obviously, there are those who were involved the group who are still interested in telling their stories, but with a lot more engagement. Ironically, I have built this entire website around a life spent 'away' from the group, although I can see now that their influence remained subliminal over the years. It particularly struck me when the producer Mack said on the 'Lover of Life, Singer of Songs' DVD that he felt fortunate to have worked with someone like Freddie, who really had it. I feel fortunate too, to have had the chances I have had over the past few months. Just as Freddie related in 'The Untold Story', that around 40 he had finally found his niche in the happiness in love that he had been looking for all his life, I, at the same age, have finally found my niche in so many ways - in my job, in my writing and in other facets of my life. It truly is by giving that we receive. On the afternoon of Freddie's birthday, before I left for London, I saw the special video selection shown on VH1. On watching 'I'm Going Slightly Mad', I felt that, back in 1991 when it was first shown, I had subconsciously realised what was happening, what it was all about, because I could identify with the scenario. I had, however, shut it out of my mind - it all makes sense now, because, as a teenager, my music was most precious to me. When Brian sang 'Love of My Life' at the Dominion that night, he paused as a rhythmic chorus of 'Freddie, Freddie...' emanated spontaneously from the audience, evoking Freddie's spirit in the most extraordinary way. I knew, once again, that I was united with Brian and Roger in their remembrance. I also know that almost everyone has lost someone dear to them. But in my mind what happened had become so intertwined with Queen that I myself have been amazed to find just how strong that connection was. When I have spoken to others about my site before they've actually seen it, I've occasionally been asked, 'what do you find to write about Queen?', and my response would be, 'what can I NOT find to write about them?' When you really love, you love unconditionally - I know my perspective is unusual - I can't talk much about the showmanship and the bombastics because I never witnessed them at first hand. I know that Freddie wanted to make others happy, but I think as well that he would understand my unreadiness in the past. When Roger and Brian sang on Freddie's birthday, you could see that love between the two - a familial love, an 'agape'. I still see Queen as my true allies in catastrophe, and it is with this legacy of the band that I should remain.
So what have I learned from this journey? Most importantly, that you can feel trapped by a death for many years after it happened without realising it. In the words of John Trudell (see more below), time does not have healing magic, but distance does. Only when I had moved on sufficiently in life could I bring myself to go back. It has been about two years since things really started happening – and looking at all the events, it has been clear that I could not have appreciated the importance of my journey unless I had seen all those things. It has been like the end of TV’s ‘Generation Game’ when a conveyor belt of gifts moves past you and anything you remember afterwards you can take home… When did the journey start for the group? I have seen the suggestion that it was at Freddie’s tenth anniversary concert which took place five years ago – also in Hackney. Queen’s Greatest Hits I was recently declared the nation’s favourite album.. I remember what I saw in the group in my teens – something very different. Nothing about their success over the years the group were together came as a surprise to me. Nevertheless, this site does not present a “popular” view of Queen – the band of great, triumphant concerts, for example. It can’t, because on my journey I have been in search of the group I had once known – the group of my living room. It was strange for me when Brian emerged from the trap door at ‘We Will Rock You’ in October - that I was in the audience and Brian on the stage – because I did not feel that separation; I was somewhere lost in his guitar chords as he played. Here are some words which express the feelings I have about this whole story now: Doesn’t Hurt Anymore (Trudell/Shark) From the album ‘Bone Days’. I think about how I’m doing But I don’t know what I’m thinking Shattering into shadowlight Reflecting thoughts I can’t relieve My heart doesn’t hurt anymore But my soul does, maybe That’s what souls are for, to Take the hurt the heart can’t take Distance playing tag playing tricks With whatever it is I can’t find My weaknesses are my bandaids Covering for how I don’t bleed In all the stones I threw Some were for flinging Some were for bringing And some I never knew My heart doesn’t hurt anymore But my soul does, maybe That’s what souls are for, to Take the hurt the heart can’t take Living painted into a picture Dripping off all these paintings The colors of emotion Seeking any kind of devotion Some things are private Between me and the dead And some of the rest Is better off left unsaid My heart doesn’t hurt anymore But my soul does, maybe That’s what souls are for, to Take the hurt the heart can’t take
27 Aug 07 If life is a poem, these are the lines which rhyme. If life is a puzzle, these are the pieces which fit the gaps. If life is a journey, I have now found the landmarks. I think about how it took so long to face the music – I can hit on some reasons why this all happened when it did. But, above all, the timing meant that I found myself on a parallel journey with the group of my teens in their own revival. How apt - after all, they'd made a journey with me once, a long time ago... The result was that I finished up in a place I never expected to be in – particularly one day in early December last year, when, a stone’s throw from my old school, I had a meeting with Brian which turned up an extraordinarily special moment. I knew that morning that I had to go. But now I also know that, although on the face of it a 44-year-old teacher was meeting a 59-year-old rock musician of world fame, whose attention she'd gained by doing a few translations, inside it was really that 70s schoolgirl meeting that young innovative guitarist whose group had recently arrived on the scene and had got her attention. How ironic too, that she'd just started learning German, and he'd not long given up studying for his doctorate in astrophysics...* That’s the crux of my message; my Queen story is unique – not that everybody else hasn’t got a unique story, too – but in the sense that my life was just starting and so was the group’s. So maybe it’s particularly appropriate that I’m dealing with their legacy, which now seems to have become far more important than the events of their heyday. It’s not enough in life to notice the signs – you also have to read them, understand them and act on them In the end, I think that moving on truly means accepting that you never will move on.
26 Dec 07 Now five years have passed since this journey began. Certainly I had no idea, in December 2002, that the footage of Brian on the roof of Buckingham Palace that summer would send me on a journey that would yield such sensational results. But patterns in life have a habit of repeating themselves, and coincidences with positive outcomes, which you can read about in other people's lives, for example, in those of the great writers CS Lewis and Amy Tan, have their origins in divinely inspired destiny, or (as Amy Tan said), in the web of love that binds us all together, or both. One thing is certain: I shall continue to write about the group and its legacy, whether it be here or in the Fan Club magazine. It has been great fun, but if I am honest about it, I really write about them because I have an ache which provokes the need to do so. In a strange way, the group does not just symbolise the last I remember of my mother, it is my mother. It is strange that in the 80s, when the group toured Brazil, Freddie said that many people regarded him as a mother figure! When Brian describes standing on the roof of Buckingham Palace, playing 'God Save the Queen' far away from the orchestra, it appears that it was a logistical nightmare hardly conducive to yielding a musical triumph. But I can still picture myself that day I saw that footage on TV over a Christmas holiday when I had time to think...and I did think: "Wasn't that my group once? Yes, but it was a long time ago...." Since then I have had to think a lot more and now know that, once I started down that road, the experience would be life-changing.
© Now-im-here.com/Bohemia-place.net 2004-07 |
age
contains any more thoughts I have about my life, and Queen...
